Would perfectedMaybe it’s the thought of staring

Would you catch me if I fall for you?Is the question I ask as I’m debating whether I shouldopen my mind up completely to an individual who feels as if my misimpressions are a reflection of my inner expressions, but it’s all just a misconception. The good the bad and the ugly are what I what you to know so that I can see if you are willing to deal with me on my worst days just as much as on my bestI’m nowhere near perfect and I’m hoping you aren’t either because that would leave less room for growth Break down my shell, experience me all of me or else just leave me be.-iCMOWhat is it about you that brings a spirit of contentment into my atmosphere?Maybe it’s the way you inspire meMaybe it’s the soothing of your voiceMaybe it’s the drive you have for yourself to advance in areas you have perfectedMaybe it’s the thought of staring into your eyes and your beautiful smile Maybe it’s just that feeling I get at the thought of..

….Maybe it’s the way some things just come so naturally when you’re involved.

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Just maybe.-ICMOIf forever was realistic…Although “forever” isn’t realistic, my intentions with you are forever or the closest thing to it.Like what they say when exchanging vows, ” till death do us part”; Yeah something like that.The closest thing to forever, you never know what that may be.If I had control over time forever would be unending, cherishing moments together for decades upon decades.Never ending butterflies like it’s the first date every time we wine and dine or have spontaneous lunch datesThat smile, that addicting smile that lights up a room as if thousands of candles glowing in a pitch-black space.

If forever were never ending, your smile would never stop, the love would never end, the memories would never fade, that feeling would last for a lifetime.An unstoppable FORCE, LOVE, ADDICTION.-iCMOThat look…That look that she gives when she knows life wouldn’t be complete without you, is what I saw as he looked into her eyes.Immediately I imagined myself in her shoes, not to replace her, but to experience the feeling of a real, genuine love.

A manifested love that is built up over time, nourished through each other’s minds.Entwined in such a way that the most seductive soul that tries to come and destroy your bond would easily be declined.Fueled by each other’s souls, love and understanding.-iCMOSoul searching for that perfectly imperfect Soul…Tell me your secrets and dreams and I’ll tell you mine, but I must warn you that I’m a bit difficult to comprehendIt’s not by choice, my thoughts just can’t seem to come out as my mind perceivesI don’t need your judgment, just your understandingI don’t need your pity party, just your motivationThat in time over time a release of my thoughts, my secrets, my feelings will pour out in a way that fills up every inch of your mental.

I want you to know me, to understand me, to love me for me.Can you handle that?-iCMOI hurt more than most, because I care more than most..

.A blessing and a curse, that I always try to pick up the pieces and attempt to recreate them back into their original form. Hoping that just maybe it will be as good as new.

That’s not going work because in the process there are little chips and pieces that are unable to fit into the original structure like before, Even though the structure can be recreated it’s never going be the same.Hating to see things fall apart even though it may be the best thing at that moment I continue to try, Knowing that this may be my warning sign to just let it go.-iCMOWhy is it an automatic assumption that, “you got it good” or “You have no worries, look at you” just because you don’t look like what you’ve been thru?There’s a lot of pain in these eyesThere’s a lot of stains within these eyesThere’s a lot of heart ache experienced thru these eyesThere’s a lot of years seen thru these eyesThere’s a lot of tears that have come from these eyesThere’s a lot of trust lost thru these eyesThere’s a lot of lessons taught thru these eyesThere’s a lot of happiness in these eyesThere’s a lot of forgiveness given and received thru these eyesThere’s a lot of love seen thru these eyesOnly thru these eyes I can see..

.-iCMOI just wish you would call…

To tell me that you forgive me so thatMaybe we could get things back to the way they used to be.Maybe you could have just as much patience with me as I’ve had with you, and not hold my actions against me.Maybe you will realize my feelings……………WAIT, HOLD UP!!!-iCMONever apologize for being youWhen you feel, that shows truthNever allow anyone to make you feel like your feelings aren’t realNever apologize for how you feel.-iCMO·Self-Less·When a person continuously puts someone else’s needs and wants before themselves it makes them extra special and lovable.Being the strength for others to keep them pushing ahead is never easy and can be exhausting, that really takes a strong-willed individual.Even more so to be that strength without complaints makes you a rare royalty.

Seeing it in myself is one thing but seeing it in someone else amazes me and brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it.-iCMOThe best things in life comes from taking a chance…

 A chance that maybe it will be the best decision you could ever make,A chance that despite the things you have experienced in the past things can only get better, A chance that you will open up freely and allow yourself to be vulnerable,A chance that you would let life happen with no boundaries,Just allow your energy to shine…-ICMOWhy am I so knowledgeable yet ignorant to the fact that I need to deter my feelings, knowing that it’s better for me to disconnect from certain individuals to keep myself balanced and focused on a forward movement.Queen,What makes you so phenomenal?Is it the love you spread to those around you?Is it the way you sacrifice your time to make sure your house is a home?Or the way you put others needs/wants before your own, Maybe it’s the strength you possess to hold things together, Queen you are a powerful force,You are worthy of the crown.

-iCMO Learn…Is it too much to “learn” an individual?You know, get to know a person hitting you with that mental visualEducating yourself with their complexual,Before complicating things with the sexualIs it too much, to gain a little bit of knowledge on a person,Instead of getting distracted by the physicalThe deepest connection you can have is when you learn someone from the inside, that physical just adds to itBest connection to have.-ICMONot the norm…

What ever happened to when people actually got to know each other?…Way before the phones, technology and social media.The times when you sat down to have verbal conversation with someone and those times when short notes back and forth were a fad.When did getting to know the “real you” become so unfashionable? Being replaced by a profile pic or “about me” section distracting minds into thinking that a simple profile will tell you all you need to know about an someone.When did it all become so broken, this is not what the future generations need to feed off.

I can tell you haven’t been loved in a way that has made you feel secure.Been abused in ways I can’t understand how you’ve endured.Broke down because of your outpour of feelings and emotions that only the weak would call weak because..

.they were willing but didn’t care enough to understand your cry out.Or maybe they couldn’t afford to give you the time you needed so instead chose to discount your feelings.

Encounters change people, hurt changes people, pain changes people. Let it change you for the good and never allow it to control your present, your future, your life.Know your worth and surround yourself with individuals that realize how valuable you are.-iCMOI can’t lie I was low-key lusting over your presence and I hadnever spoke a word to you.I never had someone like you beforeGenuine touches and kisses, all of the love you pourNever questioning motives of what you’re doing it forContemplating walking out wanders my mind no moreI knew it from the startYou were the one that would change me, fighting that truth so hardI didn’t want to admit it due to previous scarsBut now I realize, you’re the best partThe best part of every single momentYou understand me, support me when I be on my goals shitAin’t had to question not once if you were on some hoe shitYou stayed down with me, always helping me keep my focusSee you’re are a different breed.

Just want to be in your presence, breathing the air you breath.Can’t imagine ever parting, I hope this ain’t a dreamYou are my soulmate, you are a queen. -iCMOMy presence is a gift, it’s not a guarantee for you to exist in my moments.

 Got bodies around me that can disappear out of my life todayNever hear from them again and won’t feel no type of wayIt’s clear to me some aren’t who they pretend to beBack then you would’ve been a frenemy for pretending to be a friend to meIn these times it’s all about conserving energySynthesizing with like-minded souls creating a stronger synergy.-iCMODon’t overthink it, I’m serious when I say that I may had been different if you’d known way way backBefore the construction zone, the heart break songs when I thought it was all Kodak Before I isolated myself and resurfaced with a clear mental ready for a major comeback I had to learn to become selfish when it came to all of meTo give less when necessary and keep away from people that questioned my degreeLife seems to be a bit in slow motion these daysTrying to reach the same goal, to keep myself moving I paraphraseDon’t ever overthink it, you don’t have to do that with meI just require a little patience.-iCMOI’ve always been the type to do more than I should,Even though many did the most showed me they were up to no good,Homies always told me, “let that shit go”, not thinking about the time I’ve invested.Stubborn as fuck, I continued to let my patience get tested.I’ve never been the type to focus on the negativity,Despite actions taking place in front of me with full visibility.

Being optimistic that maybe this was just a phase,Hoping for the best, resulted in you being stuck in your ways.Always been one to believe actions vs words,Allowing you this power over me… I eventually kicked you to the curb.You would think with all the pain I’ve endured, the broken hearts never cured, thatmy hopes of meeting that perfect soul would have already detoured…-iCMO”So out of everyone that received this message you’re the only one that turned it into a negative thought conceived from an assumption that you put in my path based off of what you think.”We all have the choice to analyze thingsTo gain an understanding for ourselves and satisfy cravingsYou see, you’re the one that reversed it into a negative thoughtNot realizing that’s a behavior that’s taughtAs if ‘favor filled with disappointments as your satisfaction’ is what’s being sought.

-iCMOBlame GameWho do I really blame when I choose to give my all to someone who is not worthy?Is it fair to put the blame on another being when it’s my fault for being too good to them?I mean, really who do I blame?Even though every action is as genuine as any person wants to be treated,But, once it’s given to those genuine acts become abused…

Who do I blame?-iCMO”It’s okay to give more than you should even when it’s not reciprocated. Just know you did your part.”     At that moment you were just what someone needed,Maybe to heal, to teach them even if you felt your actions and presence were unheeded.Despite their ceased motion, concealed emotions,It’s not wasted time if it’s a genuine notion-iCMOSome things are just out of your control…I know you’ve only been trying to teach me lessonsMaking more things a reality until my stubbornness lessensIt’s like this feeling I can’t seem to shake,What if things went differently and I couldn’t wake In the blink of an eye, may not have been alive But you deemed me worthy to survive.

 Just to think If I was distracted at that moment,How my vehicle would’ve impacted without my movement.This time you really got my attention,Hands on the steering wheel with prehensionIn those few seconds trying to stay sane,Not knowing what’s there, swerving in the next laneAt this moment I just wanted to close my eyes,Until I thought of the involvement of other lives,I know it was You that guided me safely,And for that I thank you, greatly.-iCMOThere’s this beautiful soul I connected with a while back that kept me wondering, not knowing anything about her a spark of interest was triggered.So I asked her, “Are you into any type of arts?” Her response, “I am a walking piece of art”So I just dived on in and said…”Your style, your smile comes across like a freestyle,Covering your canvas in material thoughtsLyrics from your mental that can’t be soughtSpit from your mentalI’ll provide the instrumentalJust open up your mind to me, it could all be so simpleHit me with a contagious dose that’ll make me want to overdoseKnocking me into a comatoseAnd I’m cool with that because you know what’s that last thing that’ll be on my mind?”-iCMOOften we cross paths with someone who may be dealing with a storm, words of encouragement are necessary.

You’re a Blessing girlFull of ambition, taking chancesTrying to get your life on trackYou was stressing girlDidn’t know what was nextStepping out on Faith never gave upAnd you learned a lesson girlNothing against you shall prosperKept your head up and worked toward your goalThat storm was a test, it came to strengthen youThru all the stress and tears you didn’t allow yourselfTo break, you grewMay not be perfect, but it’s perfect for you in your seasonBlessings on top of blessings all within reason-In Harmonie0 with your Destiny–iCMOWhen you grow up in a world that is filled with so much anger, chaos and hate, those actions tend to become the “role model “Just realize that it only takes one individual to bring change.Instead of watching the world destroy its self why not be a solution?At the end of the day we live here, I’d rather live in peace.-iCMOLand of the what?!What freedom is there when you live in a country where your own leader is a racist?Still trying to divide us as a people because of the color of our facesStirring up hate and anger in the midst of other placesIf continued division and separation is your goal, trust that’s already doneReleasing your thoughts and words into our air, verbal pollutionNone of them seem to be working towards any solution.No common goals with the people, what are you working towards?Can’t protest without incarceration, what are we fighting for?Steadily saying, “don’t judge a book by its cover” while all the while judging a man by his color.-iCMOHow’s that saying go?”Keep your friends close and keep your enemies closer”Now why the hell would I do that giving them extra exposure?There’s always gone be somebody praying for your destructionGotta keep your head up, stay focused and break off all interruptionsWhen you’re minding your own you don’t have to worry about dissensionI mean seriously what they doing it for, an honorable mention?All I want in this life is to be successfulHave something to look forward to and stop being so stressfullSuccess comes in abundance no need to prey on the nextNo need to burn bridges the concept is to avoid getting wetBoss up move in silence and don’t forget to prayLay low, get your rest and do the same the next day.

-iCMOSurvivor’s RemorseGoing thru it, getting past it…It was a divine time when my mental met the rhymeIt started in my prime every time I had downtimeMy thoughts dominated my mind as if it were organized crimeVictimless in thoughts except for those from my past lifePain and feelings terrorized meJust to write them down felt like a clasp knifeThere was a time when I was at war with my mindMy headspace was in a dark placeHad my life in my hands it was hard to feel safeThere were things I kept inside of meIn fear of them becoming my realityI’m not ashamed to say I’ve dealt with depression a time or twoContemplated whether I wanted to get thru it or just be throughIsolated myself, it was just me conversing in my mindAbout how life is long and short at the same timeOne of the hardest battles you’ll ever have is one with yourselfSome may never experience this type of struggleApprehensive of everything around you and the constant mental rebuttalBut with Faith and prayer my life altered courseAnd I no longer have survivor’s remorse.-iCMO At War with Myself…My name is Brittany and I’m an alcoholic…Well, used to be see,I was so use to self -medicating myself Jameson to be exactWhiskey straight out the bottle serving as my mental distractDrowning my problems and my failures, sunken emotionsClearing my mental with that influential just to avoid commotionCompromising my values and my mental healthShifting the attention while hurting in stealthIt was always me against myselfIn the search of finding my personal wealthEverything in this world is systematicFrom hate and drugs to social media addictsBlurred minds getting lost in the clout becoming fantasy fanaticsIt’s all a part of the plan just to keep you distracted.Me against the world? Naw, that would imply that I’m in competitionTo reach my level of ability when the world can’t even see my visionIf you think about it, competition only brings partition,Followed by a whole bunch of oppositionAnd a dissolution with no exposition.

It’s never been me against the world that was all in my head,I made the choice to pave my own roads in this life to get ahead,In a world with a system that’s created for us to fail,End up in debt, struggling or locked up in jailI decided to work on my inner peace and omit the frictionI’m just trying to make sure my inner missionStays intertwined with my enter missionSo, when my time here expires I’ll enter the gates as a new additionYou can change yourself, but you can’t change peopleYou have the power to create new chapters in your life with less bodies in the sequelIf you focus on yourself, you’ll become better equipped to see thruthose abstract colors within individuals that are portrayed as if true.-iCMOSome feels a meant just for that moment…I feel like I should have met you in a previous timeExpression comes so natural, mannerisms present mimeTo be honest it was unexpected at first until I felt your vivacityYour energy stood out in a space of its own, factualityYou know that one thing neither of us ever really do?There’s a first time for everything, it was new to me it’s new to you,Vibrations on different levels leaving both of us yearningNo stones unturned, conversation keeping both of us learning,I’m not familiar with it, but it dominated every power within me..

. and I like that.-iCMOFree YourselfWho can play the role of yourself better than you?It’s a great time to be free, free to be who you want to beThere should never be a time you hold your head down in shameStand up for what you believe in even if there is a counterclaimIt doesn’t matter your religion, sexuality or any other category others deprecateYou are the only one living in your skin, your happiness you createDon’t beat yourself up or transition your identity so others will be pleasedIf you do you will always live in bondage, you will never be free.-iCMOWCWI have watched you,Over the years from the time I met youDiscover yourself, uncover your wealthYou put in the work to get aheadDespite all the tears in between you may have had to shed,You never thrived for acceptance in this world you created your own,With constant self-motivation you let your presence be knownI adore everything about you, your perseverance your FaithYour courage to step out of your comfort zone and not “playing it safe”You could’ve chosen to stay stuck in the “now” instead of getting ahead,But we both know Faith without work is dead.-iCMOIf I had to describe you apart from all other things in this world…You’re exotic like a Tahitian pearlSecluded from plain sight, cover girlUnhurried to volunteer information, discover girlYou’re something like an acquired taste,You know, like most delicacies’ something savored and after considerable experience you enjoy the aftertaste?Your imperfections are perfectionA predilection for mutual affectionThere’s none like you, a rare selection.

-iCMOJust because you have a negative thought does not make you a negative person. Release it, Let it go! I’m sorry for calling you a bitch, fuck that!I’m sorry for apologizing and taking it back.I didn’t deserve any of the shit you put me thru,but you kept playing your role as if you ‘know not what you do.’I loved you like you were family to me,but then again family ain’t always loyal so why did I expect you to be?See there goes that “expect, expectations, expecting”,whatever fucking form you want to use it in…

The result always comes out the same get too close,catch feelings and end up getting used in the end.Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way…-iCMOEverything always seems good when individuals have you in the position they want you,Put you in a box based off a preconceived illusion of youThis is written from experience known to be trueSome people will never understand the change up or calling to start your life anewWhen you’re stuck in your ways it’s easy to look down on the nextEasy to misconstrue the change up because of mental disconnectWhen choosing planning for your future over responding to textBecomes second nature like waiting for your job to direct deposit your checkThis isn’t to knock or shame anyone for their thought processNot everyone moves at the same pace when it comes to progress.-iCMOI’m figuring out that I need to know peace within myself, my spaceWhen I’m faced with something out of my control or even in my control I am strong enough to walk away in my right mind knowing it’s not right for meAnd not allow people to “try” meSelflessness gets taken for grantedAnd juiced until there’s nothing left, but seedsI’ve learned there’s more strength in those seeds, once they’re planted I will come back ten times stronger with even more to give to those deserving. -iCMOTemporaryNever been the type to get caught up in the hypeof all those materialistic things and the temporary fulfilment, they bring.Don’t you know that you’re still you??And I’m sorry to disappoint you, but no material cover ups will ever make you brandnew.No, I’m not trying to discount your value, not one bitMore so help you break through and realize that it goes deeper than the transparencies of an identikit.They say we all look alike, perfect melanin skin, perfect height,”They all will fall for anything, as long as it’s the new trend and expensive”, is what they recitePlaying into their distractions confirming their stereotype…-iCMOChoosyDid you really think you had to listen to everything that’s being said?I prefer to choose what material goes into my headPicky eater, choosy lover and who cums in my bedIt can get infectious like breathing in dust congested with leadFor me it’s one of those mental thingsGot your own morals it could all be so simple thingsWhat contentment being able to be choosy brings.-iCMOI love to see you in your elementCreating vibes with your thoughts with no hesitantReplaying scenes with your words keeping it relevantDriving’em wild with your style with perfect eleganceI always wonder how your sentimentRemains so calm when outsiders disrupt your temperament…-iCMOIt’s crazy how situations can change the way you handle thingsEvery time you called I couldn’t wait to put the phone downHolding a grudge towards you because I couldn’t understand howYou allowed that habituated sickness to take your crownIt hurts to take those road trips and being told to expect the unexpectedAnd how you’re fighting for your life and your lifelines unprotectedI guess it’s the consequences of decades of your well-being being neglectedBut even though it was your choices, my life has been affectedA lot of the of times when I’m in pain I know it’s connected to youI rush to call with no answer and all I’m thinking is, “I pray she pulls through”,Although we’ve had a broken relationship over the yearsI can’t say the thought of losing you isn’t one of my fears.-iCMO